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getting really… really mad. I don’t remember why. Then… I think I got something to eat, ‘cause I think I was really hungry.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks, I hastily wiped them away.
“Please tell me if I hurt someone. You have to tell me. I was out of it, but I’m still responsible.” His eyes were sincere, full of remorse. It was the countenance of an angel mourning the world’s sin.

I was kissing him.

There was no pause. No time between. His mouth was suddenly on mine, I was leaned far forward, on my knees, the gun forgotten on the tile floor. Tasting him again, I could almost forget anything had happened between last night’s festivities and that moment. It was as if time were merely continuing after pause for a mere bad dream. Our mouths opened.
I tasted…
His neck craned, mouth searching for mine as I pulled away. The towel had formed a little tent. He blinked with innocent confusion as I turned from him.
I had tasted Laurel. I had tasted his final thoughts.
They were for my safety.

“Is… is that all you remember? Can you think of nothing else?”
I heard him shift, bare skin causing a small squeak against the porcelain.
“Yes. I told you everything… I’m a little confused… why did you kiss me, just now?”
I was asking myself that same question. I retrieved the gun, stepped to the sink for a glass of water. I reached instead for mouthwash.
“You saw bodies, when you woke.” My fingers fumbled with the cap, I dropped it in the sink.
“No… no, I had a really bad nightmare about bodies, though…”
“You-” I dropped the bottle whilst trying to pour into a glass. The glass likewise fell, shattered stupidly at my feet. I choked back a sob, retrieving the bottle.

“You saw the body. I watched you. You vomited. On his corpse.” I took a swig from the bottle, swallowed instead of spat. The pungent fluid caused me to cough twice. I wiped at my quivering lip with the back of a quivering hand.
“No… no, that was a nightmare.”
“YOU KILLED THEM ALL!” I screamed at him. I could not bring myself to look at him. I had to leave the room. I seized the gun

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and rushed out, slamming the door behind me.
I normally have better control. The best, I would have said, were you to ask the night before.
Pacing my room after that outburst, I had very little.
My hand clenched and unclenched around the gun handle. I even squeezed the trigger at the bathroom door several times- uneventfully, as the safety was till locked.

Dilemma, dilemma, dilemma. I was torn. I needed to kill him. I could not kill him. There was no right or wrong here. There were only unfortunate circumstances. I damned fate, I damned nature. I begged Themal for guidance, and her statue remained stonily silent upon her little alterial shelf.
I wasted over half an hour of precious time having my little temper tantrum. I calmed eventually, grasping a pillow and breathing deeply.

I returned to the bathroom, causing Basil to jolt awake from his doze.
“Lissen, I’m sorry, whatever I did, I’m sorry but I’d never kill anybody I swear to Christ I’d never-”
“I know.” My face was resigned. I hung my head.
“Then… can you untie me?”
I looked up at him. His sweet, innocent features were hopeful and shamed, like a kitten spanked for scratching the furniture, hoping to be petted in forgiveness.
“No.”
“Can I ask why?”
I shook my head, biting at the side of my mouth.
“I don’t know if you’re ready for that.”
_________________________________________________

I brought him water to drink, but he refused food. It was not surprising. I sat vigil over him for another two hours, watching him nod off and envying him for what little sleep he got. I passed the gun back and forth between my hands slowly. I had not decided to put it away just yet. It was an uneasy weight in my hands.

The more I looked at him, the farther my rage receded. He was so… perfect.  I suppose he had multiple flaws, physical and psychological… but I was blind to them. Basil… what a bizarre name for such natural pulchritude.
I fought the impulse to smirk, having happened upon a devious idea. Well… it needed to be done… there was nothing “naughty” about it… It’s not like he could do it himself…